The distant light of past encounters…

Posted by David Ward on 27/12/2009
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I think I can say (cautiously) that I am beginning to emerge from a very long period when God has seemed silent and absent.It has been a time for a ‘heads down, walking into the wind’ approach to faith, a time when I’ve been grateful for good memories of God’s presence in my life and prayers, and amazed by present hints that God isn’t as absent as he seems.

I mentioned that I’m reading Pete Greig’s book, “God on Mute” at present. He writes so much better than I can in his section called “Holy Saturday-where is God when heaven is silent?” about some of the ways we can engage the silence during these times. I want to share just two examples of these which particularly resonated with me, from a section entitled “Looking Back-remembering God’s Word in the silence.”

“My friend Justin has lost his sense of taste. There are vague hopes of a surgical procedure that might one day restore it to him but, for the last few years, eating has been little more than a flavourless solution to the nutritional needs of his body. Ironically, Elle, his wife, is an accomplished and enthusiastic cook, and whenever we go to their house for dinner, the food is invariably delicious.

When God seems absent, his Word (given with such love) seems devoid of the exquisite flavours it once had. Others at the table may be feasting on the same food with delight – “Taste and see!” they say enthusiastically – but for us there is no flavour. God’s Word has become bland.

And yet, significantly, it remains as nourishing as it ever was and as vital to the well-being of our soul.” (p264)


“How can God be present yet absent?” Perhaps it is like a distant star, flickering faintly in the darkness, whose light we see, without knowing for sure whether the source is still there. Has the star died, or is it still burning brighter than the sun? We remember times when God seemed to speak to us, or to use us, or to answer our prayer and we determine to stay true to those moments of certainty even though the actuality is so alien to our current experience. And thus, by the distant light of past encounters we may navigate the darkness, like a mariner steering by long-extinguished starts when every other point of reference has disappeared.” (p265)


I hope this is helpful!

Christmas day 2009

Posted by David Ward on 25/12/2009
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happy-bday-jesus-balloonsIt’s Christmas Day, and you may think I’m just a little sad sitting writing a blog entry on this day of all days.

Sometimes things happen that just have to be shared.

Went out to church this morning, for a short Christmas Day service.

It’s a very icy, white Christmas day, with cloud over the hills, mist in the valley and the sun shining a golden glow over the snow. I feel very happy (which is quite unusual) and glad to be alive.

As we remembered the birth of Jesus and the fact that he is still with us, both Wendy and I felt a real sense of joy…something else that has seemed in all too short supply of late…surprised by joy two days in a row…wow (see yesterday’s post)!

The service was fun, relaxed and real, with a simple but memorable message about the reality of the presence of Jesus in the world today, and filled with hope for the coming year. Our non-liturgical church was released by the liturgy of the peace into an uncharacteristic surge of hugging, greeting and even kissing

As we sang our final carol, “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” accompanied by Ali and me on two slightly-out-of-tune guitars, and with Jonah wearing his arms out on the drums, some “Happy Birthday Jesus” balloons were released into the church, and batted around by old and young as we sang our hearts out and Ali tried to burst as many as he could with the top of his guitar.

The party atmosphere seemed just so appropriate…I hope Jesus enjoys his birthday this year!

Different kinds of quiet…

Posted by David Ward on 24/12/2009
Posted in: Books/Articles, Personal thoughts. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

I went to the supermarket yesterday; not normally a thing of note, but two days before Christmas…total insanity.  This is not something I would normally subject myself to, but a combination of busy work weeks, cash flow, making a priority of visiting and enjoying other people’s company and, I hear you say, our normal lack of organisation, had left us unprepared to feast (modestly!) at this wonderful celebration of the Incarnation.

The car park was filled to overflowing, with the normal display of Christmas spirit (Not!) in the driving and space grabbing of the frustrated, waiting shoppers.

We eventually found a space and, trolley collected, plunged into the surging crowd of shoppers (just to regain some perspective, this is Berwick-upon-Tweed, but the normally relatively sleepy state of this supermarket only heightens the strangeness of this mad melee!)

There are people and trolleys everywhere…waiting, pushing, grabbing, huffing. The air is noisy with loud chatter, irritated couples, excited children.

I just wanted to get my shopping done and get out of there!

Pushing the trolley, dodging yet another attempt to ram me simultaneously from the front and rear by unaware shoppers, I rounded the corner of a aisle and laughed out loud with joy.

In the midst of the noise, the pushing, the shouts, the frantic shelf-stocking stood a father, a tiny baby fast asleep and totally secure in his arms. There could not have been a more amazing contrast.

I suppose the season makes even me a bit soft, and maybe sentimental, but it refocussed me for a short while on another baby, who came so that stressed and harrased people like me and a million others could know the peace and security of the Father’s arms in the midst of everything life can throw at us.

A couple of weeks ago I had the humbling experience of leading the sharpest, strongest and fittest 82 year old man I have ever met on retreat. I didn’t think there was much help I could be to one who’d been a Christian for so long (although actually,as I found out, he came to faith later in life, so I’d actually been a follower of Jesus for a little longer than him…not that that matters!) In the event, we helped each other…

Obviously I can’t go into the details, but he introduced me to a book I hadn’t read that had been of enormous help to him as, at 82, he faced the problem of God’s silence in unanswered prayer in a way he’d never had to before.

I’ve read (and probably said) some trite stuff about why God doesn’t answer prayer…you know, “Sometimes God says: ‘No’, sometimes ‘Slow’, sometimes ‘Grow’ and sometimes ‘Go’.” Pete Grieg’s book, “God on Mute”is an extremely thoughtful look at God and prayer, based around personal tragedy and God’s apparent silence. I’m still reading it, and finding it sensitively helpful to some of my own hang-ups regarding God’s silence.

Maybe a good buy for yourself or a friend who’s struggling at the moment…but wait until after Christmas before you try to buy it!