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Per ardua ad astra * (with thanks to Phil)

Posted by David Ward on 23/08/2009
Posted in: Personal thoughts. Tagged: bills, Doubt, Faith, finance, gifts, God, MOT, panic, poverty, trust. Leave a comment

August was the month of panic…car bills month! MOT on the Vauxhall Astra, road tax for both cars and the breakdown insurance. Yes, I know, we’re lucky to have two cars and breakdown insurance, but we do live in a rural setting and are both self-employed, so it’s a bit of a necessity.

It’s not as if I didn’t know it was coming, or that I could have done anything to prepare for it anyway…Wendy and I live pretty much from month to month income-wise at present, and are often very conscious of our dependence on God for rent, bills and food.

The month started well. A ‘brown envelope’ was left in the hands of the St Aidan statue that lives in our porch. This doesn’t happen very often…thank you to the anonymous giver. We stocked the larder and ate for the month because of your gift. So was God going to provide as miraculously for the car bills?

As I waited for the miracle of a large gift, several smaller ‘gifts’ came my way. Suddenly several of my computer customers had problems with their machines, some software, some hardware, most time consuming…sorry computer manufactureres but if the rumoured ‘August bug’, intended to drive purchasers towards new computers in the autumn, really exists, this year it simply enabled me to pay my bills!

But, then the MOT came along, and it seemed that my aging Astra Estate, which has given more than faithful service over about 8 years, had finally reached the end of the road…double panic! I remembered the words of the garage owner after last MOT…”All done. It should last you another year.”

I even found that for three anxious days and nights I could not even speak to the person I needed to speak to…had his experience of testing my Astra been so awful he had been forced to take time off? Was he avoiding telling me the awful truth?

On the third day, early in the morning, I finally caught up with him. He clearly did not know about the sense of doom with which his employee had communicated the state of my car, nor about my state of anguish, as he calmly said, “I’m sure we can fix it…wait a minute I’ll give you a price”… It came in within my budget! The resurrection of the Astra was assured, at least for another year.

As I reflected on the whole thing, my unfailing capacity to panic not trust once again stared me in the face. I was amused by the way God provided for the car bills…no gifts or handouts, but through the work of my hands (although I do find it something of a ‘coincidence’ that just the right amount of computer work suddenly appeared). God is good, and the people who listen to God’s whispers are so good too.

But…I am left wondering…do garages plant a sort of ‘car virus’, intended to go off when you’ve had your ‘another year‘ out of them, and just around MOT time…:-)

* Per ardua ad astra – through adversity to the stars

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Church in Exile or aTime of Recovery

Posted by David Ward on 17/08/2009
Posted in: Books/Articles, Personal thoughts. Tagged: ancient practices, Borderlands, Church, Community, culture, evangelical, exile, fixed-hour prayer, God, hope, humility, hypocrisy, Jesus, liturgy, margins, mystery, Phyllis Tickle, politics, powerlessness, recovery, relationships, respect, scriptures, spirituality, unity. Leave a comment
Two men look out the same prison bars,
One saw mud, the other stars.”
~ Frederick Langbridge

Many commentators are telling us that the church in the West is about to go into a time of Exile, when we no longer have central stage in the cultural and political arenas. In a way that particularly appeals to those who are fond of bashing “church-as-we-know-it”, they expound this theme with all the doom, gloom and negativity they can muster.

Though I don’t disagree entirely with many of their observations, I think there may actually be a much more positive way to look at the changes that are going on at present…that’s where the idea of a Time of Recovery kicks in.

The way I see it, much of the research also points to real possibilities for the church to change and grow as a result of it’s changed status. These are just my initial thoughts but they may give something to think about, and certainly represent a positive position of hope.

During this time of change, the church has the opportunity for the:

* recovery of ancient practices…these are corporate and personal disciplines which enable as to grow in our relationship with Jesus. They are tried and tested by time and also provide us with a bridge to those of other faiths, each of which has similar practices. The big seven are: fixed-hour prayer, fasting, Sabbath, the sacred meal, pilgrimage, observing sacred time and giving. Brian McLaren’s excellent book “Finding Our Way Again” introduces a series of books about each of these practices. These practices have both a formational and a missional dimension.

* recovery of a place among the people on the margins…as the church loses its statuatory power so it will need to learn again how to live from a position of powerlessness, how to major on a corporate and individual life that that bears witness to the reality of faith in Jesus, rather than trying to demand a hearing. It may be good for our humility and our dependance on God!

* recovery of respect from other spiritual people…much research bears witness to the fact that in a culture where belief in “Something There” is growing, few regard the church as an institution with anything to offer. Many believe that the church has sold its birthright for a seat at the table of the status quo, and consequently has lost its credibility and right to speak on matters spiritual and ethical. Maybe, just maybe, this will change as we once again side with the poor and powerless of the world.

* recovery of mystery…doctrine, dogma and right belief seem to have replaced right behaviour, so a kind of self-righteous hypocrisy seems to characterise the church. Maybe if we have the humility to admit that God defies our attempts to explain, catagorise and control, that we don’t have all the answers, we will once again be able to help those who are seeking to explain their deep seated sense of a Greater Power and the many ‘spiritual’ experiences that we all have, sharing and valuing God’s reaching out to them.

* recovery of unity…once again, there seems to be a new drawing together of many Christians in to a sense of a new commonality of belief and practice. Evangelicals appreciate liturgy and fixed-hour prayer and social-actionists are studying the scriptures…Phyllis Tickle writes in her book “The Great Emergence” about a “gathering centre’ of Christians from all the great traditions, summarised as liturgicals, social justice believers, conservatives and renewalists, increasingly more aware of their commonality than their differences.

* recovery of community…the proliferation of new monastic communities is but one indicator that the superficial relationships of many traditional churches have been found wanting. Many churches are also trying to become something more than Sunday-only communities. In this arena the mega-church will perhaps find it hardest to demonstrate a genuine depth of shared life than the smaller expressions of church, both community and congregation. Acts 2 speaks volumes about the missional power of faith shared in the close relationships of a communal setting.

As I said, this is just the start of my thinking…if anyone reads this and has stuff to contribute, I’d be most grateful.

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Stumbling through the Shadows

Posted by David Ward on 16/08/2009
Posted in: Events, Personal thoughts, Pilgrimage. Tagged: darkness, destination, light, North wales. Leave a comment

Hetton Hall at night“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”. ~adaptation of a Chinese proverb

The school I attended as a teenager rented an old farmhouse high in the hills of North Wales. The farm was rough and ready, with no mains gas or electricity, and the only running water was that which flowed as a stream down the hill and into a large iron cauldron that acted as our ‘bathroom’.

When I was 14 years old I went with a group for my first stay, and early in our visit a group of us went off with one of our teachers to walk to a reservoir high in the hills above us. We left after the evening meal and enjoyed the company and the exploration of the ruined farms and chapels that we passed on our way.

The walk to the reservoir took longer than expected, and it was rapidly getting dark. None of us had torches, and we knew that the way back would be difficult…if we could actually find our way back through relatively unmarked terrain to the tiny habitation that was our temporary home.

As we debated what to do, someone noticed a small, bright light flickering somewhere below us. Led by our teacher we made our way towards the light. Many of us slipped and fell, bruised our shins on unseen rocks, stumbled into small streams as we headed homewards through the gathering gloom…we quickly realised that even though we could see our objective, getting there unscathed was an entirely different matter.

We eventually arrived safely back, thankful to the person who had had the forethought to place a lighted lamp in the window to guide us home; it could have been much worse.

‘Certainty’ about ones destination is never any guarantee of a safe and easy journey! I’m thankful for the ones who have gone that bit further ahead along the path and continue to throw light on my next steps. Hopefully my small light will also be helpful to someone, too.

See the daylight on the run,
Nights dark velvet, setting sun.
And I’m stumbling through the shadows
Trying to get close to you.
Stumbling through the shadows,

Help me to get through.

Lighted window, through the gloom
Heading homeward, be there soon.
But I’m stumbling through the shadows
Trying to get home to you.
Stumbling through the shadows,
Help me to get through.

~very old song lyric…

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