debt
All posts tagged debt
It was Christmas of what had been one of the worst years of our lives. After struggling with unemployment, debt and disillusionment we had finally had to admit that we could not go on.
Some friends who knew our situation agreed…so we moved out of the rented home we could no longer afford, and moved in to one room in their large house,watched much of our furniture going to ‘new homes’ (no space to keep it), had to give up our two much loved dogs (dog free zone)…written like this it doesn’t seem much, but I can’t begin to tell you how this all felt.
It is also a testimony to the strength of our marriage and the love for each other we enjoy; I know that the experience would have broken many relationships.
Worse still, the dear friends who allowed us to live in their home, and who will probably be horrified if they ever read this, inadvertently made us feel so bad about the whole thing. Their three boys made it quite clear that they found having two ‘needy’ invaders around wasn’t great. This got even worse when our four kids came to stay! And we also ‘heard’ the unspoken words that we were a ‘charity case’, a ‘good cause’ to be pursued by our hosts. This may, I’m happy to admit, be the voice of our own ‘monsters’, but we heard and felt it just the same.
And so it was Christmas, and we were feeling the pain of parents separated from their children at such a time (they were spending Christmas with their mother in Manchester). Our own poverty was (once again, not deliberately) thrust down our throats as we watched the family unwrap a pile of costly presents and sat down with them to eat a magnificent Christmas meal.
At one point, either to answer the call of nature or because I was overwhelmed with sadness, probably both, I excused myself and went off to the toilet. Space and safety, for a short time at least.
And then I hear the voice, speaking so softly, so quietly, in to my spirit. I have rarely heard God speak to me in such a clear and ‘audible’ way, but this was one of those occasions when the inner voice could not be doubted.
God said: “I will honour you and those you love.”
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This morning, as I sat praying and reading, I was reminded of this incident.
As I look back over the years, two things are clear to me: that the path since then has not been any easier, though things have been better; and secondly, that God has kept his promise. In our lives, and the lives of those we love (family and friends alike) we see and feel that God honours our struggles, our successes, our joy and our pain.
I don’t feel like a ‘charity case’ any more. I’m honoured by God!


