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A Short History of Divorce 22…Hope

Posted by David Ward on 03/04/2012
Posted in: Relationships. Tagged: affairs, Christian, Christmas Eve, divorce, emotion, friendship, hope, marriage, new relationships, re-marriage, Relationship, risk. Leave a comment

He has a new friend. Well, actually, she’s an old friend, but they have a new relationship.

It’s still very tentative, neither of them are certain how it is going to go. In public they are beginning to talk about their ‘developing friendship’.

They are walking together in a country park on a still beautiful December afternoon. They are talking a lot and enjoying one another’s company.

They arrive at a spot above a bend in the small river that flows through the park. They stand a respectable distance apart, looking down on the river and drinking in the view.

Suddenly, and without warning time stands completely still. The air between them seems to be filled with crackling blue sparks and their awareness of each other becomes intense.

The moment ends. They almost flee back to the normality of the car park and the safety of the car. They talk about what they both felt and agree some boundaries for their suddenly much more developed feelings for each other.

Later, when he is alone, the man realises that it this is another Christmas Eve, but this time not one of painful revelation but one of new hope.

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A Short History of Divorce 21…Thanks

Posted by David Ward on 31/03/2012
Posted in: Relationships. Tagged: anger, Christian, cowardice, friendship, marriage, poor advice, procrastination, Relationship, risk, wisdom. Leave a comment

Several of his friends and colleagues have been talking with him about the break-up of his marriage. They nod wisely, and say:

“Of course, we knew what she was like, we saw it coming!”

His face smiles, but inside he seethes, and thinks…

“Well, thanks a lot for telling me. How wise and helpful you can be  after the event.

He makes a mental note to take the risk of speaking out if ever he sees the tell-tale signs in any friend’s relationship.

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A Short History of Divorce 20…Aftermath

Posted by David Ward on 29/03/2012
Posted in: Personal thoughts, Relationships. Leave a comment

Many of his Christian friends are still pressing him to try to be reconciled to his wife…his ex-wife. They do not know the full story…

 Later he reflects that he and his former wife have achieved a kind of reconciliation; it includes a recognition that part of their reconciliation as people involves accepting that the marriage and all that relationship meant is definitely over for good.

 In his time as a minister he has given help and counselling to several men going through painful separations. Mostly they do not deal with it well. He has seen men become a pale shadow of their former selves and effectively withdraw from life. He does not wish to become a victim.

 He determines that he will not allow this event to define who he is. There will be life the other side of divorce, and he will embrace it…

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